BBYPUTRI; story of my life.

Sorry

2010-08-22T20:46:00.001+08:00

Sorry, i'm putting 90% of my blog attention to my Tumblr.

So, i won't be updating this blog as often as i did before.

So, if any of you want to follow me on Tumblr,

Here's the link; http://bbyputri.tumblr.com

I apologize for any inconvenience that may have happened,
and thank you so much for taking your time reading my craps.

Much love; PUTRI.

Sayang ;_(

2010-08-22T19:49:00.000+08:00

Sayang.

Owg windu ;_(

Tamo jauh macam ni.

Susah. Perit.

Nak macam dulu.

Sayang.

Owg windu ;_(

My birthday wishlist ♥

2010-07-11T02:01:00.000+08:00

BBYPUTRI; capture life.

bbyputri.tumblr.com

Finally, it s here. My remarkable 7 WISHLIST for my upcoming birthday. Which is exactly things I will NEVER get, lol.

I 'm such a Phobic

2010-07-11T00:03:00.002+08:00

Syahril; Here's mine.

A-

Agliophobia- Fear of pain.
Agoraphobia- Fear of open spaces or of being in crowded, public places like markets. Fear of leaving a safe place.
Algophobia- Fear of pain.
Anuptaphobia- Fear of staying single.
Astraphobia or Astrapophobia- Fear of thunder and lightning.(Ceraunophobia, Keraunophobia)
Athazagoraphobia- Fear of being forgotton or ignored or forgetting.
Automatonophobia- Fear of ventriloquist's dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues - anything that falsly represents a sentient being.
Autophobia- Fear of being alone or of oneself

B-

Bathophobia- Fear of depth.
Brontophobia- Fear of thunder and lightning.

C-

Cleithrophobia or Cleisiophobia- Fear of being locked in an enclosed place.
Coulrophobia- Fear of clowns.

D-

Demophobia- Fear of crowds. (Agoraphobia)
Dentophobia- Fear of dentists.

E-

Enochlophobia- Fear of crowds.
Entomophobia- Fear of insects.
Eremophobia- Fear of being oneself or of lonliness.

G-

Gelotophobia- Fear of being laughed at.
Glossophobia- Fear of speaking in public or of trying to speak.

H-

Herpetophobia- Fear of reptiles or creepy, crawly things.
Hypnophobia- Fear of sleep or of being hypnotized.

I-

Insectophobia - Fear of insects.
Isolophobia- Fear of solitude, being alone.

L-

Lygophobia- Fear of darkness.

M-

Metathesiophobia- Fear of changes.
Monophobia- Fear of solitude or being alone.
Myctophobia- Fear of darkness.

O-

Obesophobia- Fear of gaining weight.(Pocrescophobia)
Ochlophobia- Fear of crowds or mobs.
Oneirophobia- Fear of dreams.
Ophthalmophobia- Fear of being stared at.

P-

Phasmophobia- Fear of ghosts.
Philophobia- Fear of falling in love or being in love.
Placophobia- Fear of tombstones.
Pneumatiphobia- Fear of spirits.
Ponophobia- Fear of overworking or of pain.
Pupaphobia - Fear of puppets.

S-

Sciophobia Sciaphobia- Fear of shadows.
Scopophobia or Scoptophobia- Fear of being seen or stared at.
Scotomaphobia- Fear of blindness in visual field.
Scotophobia- Fear of darkness. (Achluophobia)
Social Phobia- Fear of being evaluated negatively in social situations.
Somniphobia- Fear of sleep.
Spectrophobia- Fear of specters or ghosts.

T-

Taphephobia Taphophobia- Fear of being buried alive or of cemeteries.
Thalassophobia- Fear of the sea.
Tonitrophobia- Fear of thunder.
Topophobia- Fear of certain places or situations, such as stage fright.
Tremophobia- Fear of trembling.
Tropophobia- Fear of moving or making changes.

V-

Virginitiphobia- Fear of rape.

Z-

Zelophobia- Fear of jealousy.

Jangan nak jiwang sgt la Amelia

2010-07-08T18:54:00.001+08:00

Hawa diciptakan dari rusuk adam.

Bukan dari kepalanya utk dijadikan Pemimpinnya.

Bukan dari kakinya utk dijadikan alasnya;
Melainkan dari sisinya utk dijadikan tmpat hidupnya.
Dekat dgn lengannya utk dilindunginya

dan dekat di hatinya utk dicintainya.

♥

My Diamond, neo gateun saram ddo eobseo. ♥

2010-07-04T23:07:00.003+08:00

MooMoo dah takde ;'(

2010-07-04T20:13:00.000+08:00

MooMoo, kot ye pon od, balikbalik lah dh bpe hari ni ;'(

siapa nak teman mama tdo, nnt sape nk kesat air mata ni.

balik lah, please ;'(

Faiqah Bt Mohd Azmir, ♥

2010-07-03T00:00:00.000+08:00

Sejujurnya, aku tak tahu nak tulis apa. Sebab after six years of knowing you and having you beside me through everything and i mean everything, knowing that God has given me the greatest friend anyone could ever ask for, and knowing that not a single word or sentence would be enough to describe how grateful i am to have such angel in my life. So, happy birthday yang. Semoga esok kau belum berkedut, dan lusa kau belum bongkok. Dengan kata sucinya, semoga umur kau kekal berpanjangan ;) Kalau langit tu aku boleh capai, aku tulis nama kau pada bulan dan nama aku pada bintang. Sebab bulan ada satu, dan yg satu itu kau. Bintang ada banyak, dan yang banyak itu aku. Petanda aku ada bersama kau tak kira mana pun kau berada. My one and only girlfriend, aku sayang kau sampai roh kau reput. Selamat hari lahir. ;)

Kalau aku banyak duit, aku beli alam semesta ni untuk kau.
Tapi aku tak kaya, jadi jiwa aku sebagai gantinya. pelokciom ;)

Mohamad Ajwad Qawiem Abdullah, dengar ya?

2010-07-02T23:48:00.000+08:00

kembalilah wahai sayangku
hanya itu yang membuat aku tenang
kembalilaaah..kembali padaku
aku takan pernah bisa hidup tanpamu

kembalilah wahai sayangku
hanya itu yang membuat aku tenang
kembalilaaah kembali padaku
aku takan pernah bisa hidup dengan 'dia'

2010-06-30T21:00:00.001+08:00

selama aku masih bisa bernafas,

masih sanggup berjalan,

ku kan slalu memujamu.

meski ku tak tahu lagi engkau ada di mana,

dengarkan aku, ku merindukanmu.

Yayang hilang lagi

2010-06-30T20:35:00.000+08:00

Entah di mana dirimu berada.
Tlah ku mencari hingga ke ujung dunia, kau ada di mana.
Bila kau di sana merasa bahagia,
aku kan rela arungi luas samudra untukmu di sana.
Engkau di sana dan di sana kan tetap di sana.
dan aku di sini menyendiri dan tetap di sini.
Sampai nanti, sampai nanti, sampai nanti kita kan bertemu lagi.

;(

2010-06-30T20:20:00.002+08:00

Aku tak kan pernah bisa. Untuk melakukan semua.
Yang kau inginkan. Dan semua yang kau ingin ku tuk bisa.
Aku tak kan pernah bisa. Untuk melakukan semua.
Yang kau impikan. Dan semua yang kau dambakan.
Aku tak sanggup lagi kau lukai. Tak sanggup lagi kau bohongi.
Tak sanggup lagi kau sakiti. Aku memang terlahir begini.
Apa dayaku untuk memilih. Biarkan saja aku begini.
Biarkan saja aku sendiri. Biarkan saja aku.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ku tak kan pernah tertawa. Ku tak kan pernah bahagia.
Ku tak kan pernah merasakannya. Bila kau tak disini.
Ku tak kan pernah tertawa. Ku tak kan pernah sempurna.
Ku tak kan pernah merasakannya. Bila kau tak di sini.
Izinkan aku, berlutut mengharap kau tuk kembali.
Izinkan aku, berharap dirimu kembali, dan kembali.
Dan kembali lagi. Peluklah diriku dan jangan kau lepaskanku.
Dan jangan kaulepaskan ku darimu. Ku tak kan pernah tertawa.
Ku tak kan pernah bahagia.Ku tak kan pernah merasakannya.
Bila kau tak disini.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dulu, kau slalu ada. Dulu, kau ada slalu. Tetapi kini tiada lagi.
Dulu, kau slalu bisa. Dulu, kau bisa slalu. Tetapi kini tiada lagi.
Tiada lagi kini. Sayang, tlah hilang.
Dulu, oh sangat indah. Dulu, oh indah sangat.
Tetapi kini tiada lagi. Tiada lagi kini. Sayang, tlah hilang

p/s; yayang. hurm. takde apa lah.

Please don't come & go like that

2010-06-30T19:46:00.001+08:00

yayang. jangan kembali pastu hilang balik, boleh tak? ;'(

Spain gave me chest pain

2010-06-30T04:20:00.003+08:00

it's okay baby, you're still number one in my heart.

you're still the best in my world. i love you always.

Rindukan yayang saya,

2010-06-30T01:32:00.002+08:00

yayang, tadi, yayang ke? hurm. kenapa kan, owg dapat rasa yg yayang owg dh kembali. tapi, owg masih dapat rasa kelainan pd yayang owg. logik ke kalau owg kata yayang owg kembali separuh bdn saja? mana selebihnya yang? ;'( hurm. tadi first day owg utk sem ni. best jugak lah. harapharap pointer ni dpt lebih baik dr yg lepas. yayang bantu owg ya? hurm. owg g amik darah dh td. tp tak pasti dgn siapa. dgn org yg duk dlm bdn yayang or dgn yayang. tgk gaya mcm owg g ngn yayang, yeke? tapi yayang nmpk confuse ;( hurm. yang, jangan kembali separuh saja. owg pelik tgk yayang td, confuse je. kembali la terus. owg happy tadi. sbb owg dpt rasa kehadiran yayang owg balik. kembali sepenuhnya yang, jaga owg. yayang dh janji. jgn tinggal owg dh. please ;'( owg dh tak kuat cm dulu. ramai yg nmpk owg makin lemah. yg tak kenal owg mungkin tanampak. hurm. energy owg cepat sgt berkurang. owg tak mampu nk tahan sendiri. owg perlu yayang owg. please yang? come back.

p/s; i love you. *still need you.

Nak yayang owg,

2010-06-28T13:19:00.000+08:00

yayang, arini owg balik ipoh. batuk owg makin teruk. dada owg makin kerap sakit. mumy pun pelik dah nape owg salu sangat sakit. hurm. esok owg dh start class. owg g klinik esok k yang. cek darah. hurm. yang, org yg dlm badan yayang tu mcm nk baik2 ngn owg. ckp kt dia tak payah, k? owg tau yayang owg mcm mana. owg tau yayang owg tgh nk hukum owg. so tapayah buat mcm yayang owg dh kembali. owg takkan caye. ada ke yang, dia suh owg lupakan je semua yg blaku? suh wat cm takde benda jadi. nmpk sgt hati owg tak wujud pd dia. hati owg ni cm, eleh apalah sgt kan. hurm ;( yang, owg dh tawar hati. tak, owg bukan nak tinggal yayang owg. owg sayang yayang owg lebih dr nyawa owg sendiri. cuma, owg dh tak blh nk layan org dlm bdn yayang tu mcm dia yayang owg. owg tak blh. owg rse cm dh serik. sbb asyik2 benda sama je. dia salu kata owg punca segalanya. ha ah, dia ckp gitu kt owg yang. so, takpelah. mungkin betul pe dia kata tu. tapi nak buat camane, bukan salah owg dia tak boleh terima pangai owg, gila owg, hodoh owg, dungu owg. kan? so biarlah, dia kata owg tak penah mintak maaf pdhl salah owg lg besar. owg tatau owg watpe. yayang owg je tau owg bukan jenis mintak maaf. even parents owg pun tau. tp owg mintak maaf dh, walaupun dia tak tukar nama dia jadi 'minta maaf'. owg ckp dh. bagi dia puas hati. mungkin ini yg dia nak, kan yang? dia nak owg jd macam ni. owg bagi dia jadikan owg gini. salah owg jugak tu. hurm. tapela. asal dia happy and puas hati. owg cuma berharap bila dia happy and puas hati, dia akan pulangkan yayang owg. owg harap yayang owg kembali. owg buat semua ni utk yayang owg. k? ni hukuman owg kan? harap yayang kembali lepas dh hukum owg k yang? itupun kalau owg masih bernafas waktu yayang owg kembali. maaf yang. owg dh tak kuat. yayang owg suka kata owg kena kuat. owg dh tak kuat, yayang masih syg owg? ;'(

p/s; i love you and i still need you.

My yayang,

2010-06-27T05:57:00.000+08:00

yayang, arini owg naik bus awam, first time. =.= hehe. hurm. fara kata owg lawa arini. yayang tgk owg tak? hurm. yang, sakit owg makin teruk. smlm mumy kata owg tdo merengek. teruk sgt dh sakit owg ni ;( hurm. bila yayang nk kembali ni? datanglah balik. tolong jaga owg. yang, ubat saraf yg doc bagi tu wat dada owg sakit la. lama plak tu. laju sangat jantung pump darah. hurm. td owg ckp kt org yg duk dlm bdn yayang tu yg owg kena g buat blood test. dia suh g ngn dia. nape yang? tu org tu yg ckp ke, yayang owg? yayang, are you back? yayang dh masuk dlm badan yayang balik ke? yayang, owg letih kena marah. owg nk yayang owg. yayang owg tapenah nk marah owg. hurm ;( yang, aritu faiqah tepon. dia nangis. sian dia. owg rase cm nk nanges jugak dgr dia nanges. sedih sgt ;( mata owg dh berair dh time tu. patu owg ingat yayang owg kata, owg kena kuat kalau waktu tu org lain lemah. sebab org tu mungkin perlukan kekuatan dari owg. kan yang? yayang owg ni ckp macammacam kt owg. yg paling bestnye, owg ingat semua yang. memori owg cm entah, tak pernah nk elok, tp bila ttg yayang owg, semua owg ingat. yayang tolong la datang balik. tadi owg batuk darah lg. hurm. yang, kalau owg mati, roh owg bleh jumpa tak yayang? yela, yayang dh takde kt bdn yayang. nape yayang bg org tu take over? org tu jahat ;( dia sokmo wat owg nanges. yayang owg tapenah wat owg nanges. dh la dia tu degil, babel. yang tau? owg ckp lah apa pun kt dia dr harini smpai esok pagi, confirm takde satu pun masuk lam pale dia. dia xpenah nk dengar. tak pernah nak paham. dia tau marah, tanya itu ini. dh la aritu dia ungkit yang. ;( yayang tau tak yayang dapat g Manchester, main bola? tapi dengan musuh yayang tu la.. hurm. owg nak sgt yayang owg g main bola balik. sbb tu kecenderungan yayang owg, kan yang? yayang tau tak skill yayang dh berkurangan? lama sgt yayang tggl bola ;( org dlm bdn yayang tu kata yayang tggl bola sbb owg. pastu dia kata yayang tggl ayah pun sbb owg. nape dia ckp gtu yang? dulu yayang ckp lain? yayang ckp sbb kontrak. hurm. owg tapaham. betul ke yang? kalau apa dia ckp betul, maknanya yayang owg tipu owg. yayang owg bukan penipu. owg kenal yayang owg ;'( yayang. nape lama sgt yayang pergi? nk tunggu owg gila? owg tamo yang, owg tasuka dunia bila yayang tadok. semua jahat. owg asek nanges je. harihari mata owg pedih ;'( yayang. i need you. tolong la kembali. jgn bagi org tu take over badan yayang dh. owg tasuka org tu. dia ckp dia sayang owg. dia bukan yayang owg! ;'( kalau nyawa owg boleh tahan sampai berjuta tahun, owg tetap tunggu yayang owg. biar tak kahwin pun. owg nak yayang owg.

p/s; i love you.

Encik Diamond, tolong kembali ke badan anda.

2010-06-27T05:38:00.000+08:00

yayangku

dengarlah rintihan hatiku

ingin kau kembali seperti dahulu

kenangan dijiwa membuatku rindu

kepada dirimu

;(

p/s; nk yayang owg, tanak org yg ada dlm bdn yayang tu.

Neo Ttaemune

2010-06-27T01:13:00.002+08:00

I cried a lot because of you, i cried every night. I laughed a lot because of you. Because of you. I believed in love because of you, oh boy. I've lost everything because of you. I'm speechless, suffocating and lonely. The world without you has chewed out my heart, stomped on my dignity, torn apart my heart. So why did you leave me behind. It also rained on that day, you stared at me wordlessly. You stared at nothing else but me. Those trembling gazes and the awkwardly forced smile speaks of our separation. You treat me as if i'm insane, it's just too hard. Boy, slow down. Then i cried silently and wordlessly cause i want to stay next to you. My love is true, i wanna go back to when i was with you.

I miss you, i need you. Even in my dreams, i'm with you.

I miss you, i need you. Rewind back the time.

My heart aches, it's too much too bear and where are you?
I cried a lot. Can't live without you,
please come back to me and stay with me.

p/s; please, i want my yayang back.
yayang, kembali kt badan dia boleh?

I don't care

2010-06-26T23:51:00.001+08:00

Please get back in your body

2010-06-26T23:44:00.000+08:00

You used to call me your angel. Said i was sent straight down from heaven. You'd hold me close in your arms. i loved the way you felt so strong. I never wanted you to leave. I wanted you to stay here holding me. You used to call me your dreamer And now i'm living out my dream. Oh how i wish you could see everything that's happening for me. I'm thinking back on the past. It's true that time is flying by too fast. I know you're in a better place, yeah but i wish that i could see your face, oh. I know you're where you need to be even though it's not here with me. I miss you, i miss your smile and i still shed a tear every once in a while and even though it's different now, you're still here somehow. My heart won't let you go and i need you to know. I miss you.

I miss you, My Diamond.

p/s; to my yayang, please come back ;'( i need you.

;'( surat layang untuk my yayang,

2010-06-25T18:44:00.002+08:00

yayang, tadi owg g klinik. doctor ckp owg kena amik blood test nanti. haish. takutlah. kalau takde apa, ok lah. kalau ada, camane yang? tadi org yg dlm bdn yayang tempiktempik, marahmarah owg. hurm. yayang tlg kabo ke dia jgn buat keadaan ni macam dia mangsa boleh? owg yg rasa macammacam dari dulu smpai skarang ni ha. dia complain itu ini, tak suka sangat pangai owg. tak suka sudahlah kan yayang? yayang owg je bleh trime owg cane2 pun. hurm. yayang, kalau yayang tamo kembali kt badan yayang, owg harap owg mati. owg nk jumpa yayang. owg tak larat la dgn semua ni. teruk sgt yayang hukum owg. bila nak habis ni yang? berapa lama lagi yayang nk hukum owg? ;'( owg nak g kl ni. ikut dady semua. isnin baru balik. hurm. nanti owg cerita semua kat yayang k? i miss you sangat yang. tolonglah kembali.

p/s; i love you.

Listen for once, can you?

2010-06-25T16:55:00.000+08:00

2010-06-25T16:42:00.003+08:00

your love is my drug.

it's not good for me, but i'm already addicted.

yayang ;'(

2010-06-25T03:31:00.003+08:00

satusatunya gambar bersama my yayang. i miss you ;'(

link tu tipu, haha!

My yayang,

2010-06-25T03:22:00.001+08:00

yayang, kelmarin England menang. best, haha. hurm. owg pegi college tadi, daftar and bayar yuran. haiz. yayang kat mana? owg windu yayang owg. bila nak kembali? takpelah, owg tunggu je k ;) emmm semalam org yg duk lam bdn yayang tu ckp psl bangsat tu. dia kata owg syg bangsat tu la apa la. pfft. apa lah dia tu kan yang? yayang owg je tau cane owg ngn bangsat tu dulu. kan kan? dulu owg cte kt yayang owg dah kan? haiz. yang, dulu masa kita first jumpa bila eh? dekatdekat nk raya ke eh? nnt raya, agakagak yayang kembali tak? owg nak raya ngn yayang. ;( hurm. yayang, ayah kawen aritu yayang tau? pegi jumpa ayah tak? hurm. kakyu kawen aritu owg datang ngn fara ngn apex. yayang ada tak time tu? yayang tengok owg tak? hurm. muka ayah ngn mokyan mcm happy gila nmpk owg. yela, mungkin dorg mmg dh sediakala tgh happy, bukan sbb owg pun. tp owg suka. jarang ada org happy mcm tu nmpk owg. hee, perasan sket tape kan yang? ngee. yayang tau tak tadi owg g kolej kan, pastu budakbudak bodoh tu nmpk owg. nurul cm gelakkan owg je? dowg kan ske ngumpat ;( hurm. tapi owg tak watpe pun. owg wat tanampak je. yang, owg windu dia sgtsgt. tadi owg jumpa bdn dia. owg g karoke sebelum jumpa. owg nanyi lagu Who Knew, Bencinta, Ku Katakan Dengan Indah ngn Manusia Bodoh. yayang dengar tak? sorry owg nanyi lagu sedih. owg cm windu yayang owg. yayang la tamo kembali nape! hurm ;( nak hukum owg lagi kan? takpela. owg terima je k. emm, yangg, dada owg sokmo pedih. tatau la. banyak sangat sakit owg yg owg nk cte kt dia. tp owg takut, nnt dia rasa bersalah. taya tau la hehe. emm. apa ag nk cte eh? erm, owg dh takde gayut smpai pagi dh, yayang takde, cane nk gayut. adoyaii. ingat tak mse gayut tu, owg kata nk kua nek muto pepagi buta? hehe. aritu blk kampung tau, owg main moto lagi mcm dulu. hee. owg bawak lajulaju. ala, jgn la buat muka. lenkali owg bawak slow k. slow sikit. heheehheehehehe. yang, berapa lama lagi hukuman owg ni? hurm. kadangkadang kan, owg rase cm yayang owg dh mati. sbb yayang owg kua dr badan, haish. maksud owg bukan cmtu, mksud owg, owg rse cm sedih sangat. mcm yayang pegi jauh sgt sbb tu yayang belum kembali. hmm. tapi kan yang, owg takut kalau yayang kembali nnt, yayang rase byk sgt benda dh berubah lam hidup yayang. owg takut yayang tak suka, tapi, tak pernah penting pun benda lain kan yang? ;) nnt start class owg nk g karoke slalu. owg nk nanyi kt yayang macammacam lagu. kadangkadang lagu sama. hehe, yayang dengar tau? suara owg tak sedap, tau dh, tapi dengar je la. harapharap lagulagu tu sampai kat yayang owg ;) hurm. byk benda blaku kt umah ni yg. owg penah cte kt dia tak duludulu hidup owg cane? xingatlah. kalau dh penah cte, skg mcm dh makin teruk. huhuhu. owg dh nk lari aritu, tapi tak jadi. sbb owg tau dorg mesti cari, pastu mesti owg smpai kt umah blk, blum smpat g mana pun =.= haha. kelakar kan. adoi. yang, sekarang world cup dh start. nnt kalau owg tgk sorg2, yayang teman la eh? bleh jeritjerit. hehe. haa! yayang tauuu, owg baru kenal sorg ahli puisi ni. nama dia Fynn Jamal. owg baru je jumpa dia, owg kolot, yela, tau. hehehe, dia best gila sbb puisi dia kebanyakannya mcm menceritakan ttg hidup owg. wahhh. bestbest, hehe. emm yayang. dunia mcm lain gila bila yayang tadok. hurm. yayang masih sayang owg? i miss you yang, lepas dh hukum owg, tolong kembali ya? owg tak sabar nk cte mcm2 depandepan. owg cuba tak nangis k? owg betulbetul rindu yayang owg. i miss you yang, i really miss you. ;'(

p/s: i love you.

Dedicated to Red Rebellion Army ♥

2010-06-24T23:00:00.001+08:00

My Diamond; locked in my head.

2010-06-24T22:32:00.003+08:00

if someone said "count your blessings now, for they're long gone". i guess i just didn't know how, i was all wrong. they knew better; still, you said "forever and ever". who knew? i'll keep you locked in my head until we meet again. i won't forget you, my friend. what happened? if someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone; i'd stand up and punch them out cause they're all wrong and that last kiss i'll cherish until we meet again and time makes it harder. i wish i could remember but i'll keep your memory; you visit me in my sleep. my darling, who knew? my darling, i miss you. ;'(

"Boo!" --- "Yayang?" ;'(

2010-06-24T22:01:00.003+08:00

this used to be a funhouse

now it's full of evil clowns

photo grabbed from; FaiqahTurner.

i look in your eyes, i smiled and try not to cry because it's empty.

you're not there yang. you're not inside your body. where'd you go?

Just pull the trigger, yang

2010-06-24T04:29:00.002+08:00

2010-06-24T04:08:00.000+08:00

wake me up when it's over.

it don't make any difference.

I want my yayang ;'(

2010-06-24T03:19:00.003+08:00

yayang, owg tahu dia dh lama takde.
owg tahu org yg dlm bdn dia tu bukan yayang owg.

yayang, where are you? tolong lah datang balik. owg rindu. owg tanak entah siapa yg ada dalam badan dia skarang. mana dia pegi yang? owg mintak maaf. tolong suruh dia pergi. tolong masuk balik dalam badan dia. owg tamau. dia sakitkan owg. owg nak yayang owg. owg tanak org tu. yayang please come back ;( i want my yayang. i don't the new yayang. he's mean ;'( please yayang. owg nak dia balik.

hurm. yayang, owg dapat result aritu. owg belajar, result owg ok :) hee. yayang bangga tak? yayang, yayang, rambut owg dh panjang gila sekarang, jgn suruh owg potong la. hurm. kawankawan owg dulu dh tinggal owg. hurm. yayang, owg dh tinggal bangsat artis tu. yayang tau tak? owg cari yayang, tp yayang xpernah kembali dh lepas pd kejadian tu. yayang g mana? hurm. yayang owg sihat tak? owg mintak maaf kalau owg tak jaga yayang owg ;'( dia datang la balik. owg jaga. yayang, owg sakit teruk dh. owg dh jaga diri la, betul. hurm. yayang... dia blh baca tak? dia boleh bukak blog owg tak? :(

yayang, dulu tu semua salah gemuk tu. owg dh tinggal gemuk tu, sebab dia sampahkan owg. owg tanak tggl yayang owg dulu. gemuk tu paksa. gemuk tu apikan owg. owg sayang yayang owg. tapi, owg ada masalah nk percaya org, owg kenal gemuk tu lagi lama so owg dengan bodohnya percaya gemuk tu. owg mintak maaf yayang. jangan sebab ni dia tanak kembali dah. owg wat silap. owg mintak maaf. owg nak yayang owg, yayang owg je yg trima buruk owg. yayang owg tak pernah nk marah sikit pun. yayang tak maki langsung masa owg tggl yayang dulu. sorry yayang. dtg la balik. owg dah kena hukum banyak dah ni yang ;(

yayang owg kat mana? owg nk pegi kt dia boleh? :( owg tamawu duk sini. dunia jahat. yayang tengok owg tak harihari? yayang, owg windu ;'( owg windu sgt. balik kejap pun takpe yang. kejap je. masuk balik badan dia kejap. owg nak rasa kehadiran dia. owg nk dengar kata dia. pastu pegi lah kalau dia tak boleh lama. org yg duk dlm badan yayang tu kata, "dh r g tidow..crie yayang dye dlm mimpi..". owg asyik mimpi buruk je, owg takut. ;'( yayang, kalau owg bleh jumpa dia dalam mimpi, owg tamo sedar dh. owg sanggup buang semua benda ni. dunia ni, nyawa ni, takde makna kalau takde dia. yayang, owg tak mahu mati dah macam dulu. owg ingat lagi owg janji ngn yayang. hurm. yayang janji nk jaga owg, tapi yayang takde. owg tau yayang owg bukan penipu, tapi kenapa tanak kembali? ;'(

yayang, i need you. please.

You poached my heart

2010-06-24T02:46:00.002+08:00

i wish the sun would shine away from me so i could cry. i wish the clouds would bring the rain for me so i could cry. i keep on crying but it doesn't seem to help at all. with every single tear drop , it's like another raindrop falls and i would if i could but the try would be in vain. no matter what i do, i can't stop the rain. so i cry ;'(

i hate myself

2010-06-24T02:04:00.002+08:00

i wish everything was THAT easy :(

;'(

2010-06-23T20:56:00.002+08:00

aku silap kerana sangka dia akan akhirnya dengar dan faham
aku silap. tak mungkin terjadi walau apa keadaan sekalipun

;'(

dahulu terasa indah, tak ingin lupakan. bermesraan slalu jadi satu kenangan manis. tiada yang salah, hanya aku manusia bodoh yang biarkan semua ini permainkanku berulang-ulang kali. mencoba bertahan sekuat hati, layaknya karam yang dihempas sang ombak. jalani hidup dalam buai belaka. serahkan cinta tulus didalam takdir. tak hayal tingkah lakumu, buat ku putus asa. kadang akal sihat ini blum cukup membendungnya. hanya kepedihan yang slalu datang menertawakanku. engkau belahan jiwa, tega menari indah diatas tangisanku. mencoba bertahan sekuat hati, layaknya karam yang dihempas sang ombak. jalani hidup dalam buai belaka, serahkan cinta tulus di dalam takdir. tapi sampai kapankah ku harus menanggungnya, kutukan cinta ini? semua kisah pasti ada akhir yang harus dilalui. begitu juga akhir kisah ini, yakinku indah.

Dari saya kpd dia menerusi Fynn

2010-06-23T17:48:00.002+08:00

soalan aku kenapa kau masih lagi di situ, sayang?

sedang kau tau hati aku ini memangnya begitu perit, begitu kelit

kau tau bila aku bencikan sesuatu itu akan aku katakan dengan bahasa yang sepedas-pedasnya

kau tau di setiap kemarahan itu aku hamburkan segala nista

kau tau bila aku benci akan aku katakan terus pada mata itu

kau tau bila aku marah aku akan ludah, aku akan katakan "berambuslah!"

dan aku orang gila yang cintakan dunianya

jauhlah!

kau sudah tau aku ini perempuan gila

pergilah!

kau sudah tau aku ini orangnya akal tiada

kerana aku ini bila sudah sayang

aku akan pegang

aku akan rangkul

aku akan pikul

maka janganlah kau katakan:

"hey sayang, mengapa tidak mengertikan?"

"wahai sayang, kenapa begini?"

"wahai sayang, kenapa begitu?"

"wahai sayang, kekadang kau gila!"

dan seperti biasa aku akan katakan:

"aku memang gila sayang, aku ini gilakan kamu.

hey sayang, mengertilah,

aku tidak reti untuk menjaga hati itu

kerna yang ku rasakan ini hanya orang gila yang tahu"

dan di waktu itu ku rasakan kemarahan

di dalam jiwa

di dalam rasa

di dalam jiwa

di dalam rasa

maka biarkan aku di tempat itu

mengambil pisau mengerat tangan

kerana aku yang tak tertahan di dalam hatiku, wahai kawan.

ku hanya berada di dunia ini

dengan rasa gila, rasa sendiri

tiada mengerti, siapa yang tahu

kenapa di sini, kenapa kamu berubah

berubah.

dulu kau katakan kegilaan ini suatu yang kau sukakan

tapi mengapa sekarang ini tidak lagi kau suka

lagi terasa jiwa ini ku gila, ku gila, ku gila

berambuslah.. (sedarlah)

berambuslah. (sedarlah)

berambuslah! (sedarlah)

aku di sini masih yang dulu

masih si gila

masih si dungu

tetapi engkau sudah berubah

sedarlah oh sedarlah

siapa yang gila, siapa puncanya

mengapa ini terjadi juga

dulu kau kata aku 'ni gila tapi kau suka

sekarang pula kau kata aku si perempuan gila

dan kau katakan "mengapa pula"

aku risau

aku risau sendiri

oh.

biarkan darah ini mengalir

membawa rasa jiwa yang pedih

biarkah darah merah mengalir.

Oneirophobia

2010-06-23T05:36:00.002+08:00

help? ;'(

My Diamond,

2010-06-23T05:19:00.001+08:00

i wish those who look at you with any interest would be blind. i wish those who speak of you with any interest would be mute. i wish those who think of you with any interest would be looney. i wish those who listen to your voice with any interest would be deaf. i wish those who touches you with any interest would be paralyze. i wish those who knows you with any interest would have amnesia.

but they're all just wishes that ain't ever coming true. i could just wish for the only thing that is possible enough to be granted; i wish you would see me as the only existing girl in the planet. i wish you could grant me this wish because i am so tired of wishing unwishable things. also, because you are mine or at least that is what you told me. you used to think other girls are invisible, somehow you're seeing them now. though i know your heart will always be mine and only mine, a girl will always think of the unthinkable about their boy. so please, don't poach my heart and grant me this one wish. a wish for i'll be yours and you'll be mine till the end of time.

i love you

I'm sorry for fussing and fighting

2010-06-22T16:55:00.002+08:00

;)

2010-06-22T01:31:00.004+08:00

class will start next week.

can't believe i'm saying this, but i can hardly wait.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

i miss the old you, i regret pushing the old you away. because you always change into someone new almost everyday. each and every new you would just slice my heart deep and it hurts so bad. it hurts even more when i know that you don't even realize doing it. i don't blame you though, i know you wouldn't even pinch me in whatever circumstances you're in. but i'm glad that you're trying your very best to find the old you for me. ;)

i dont know why, but i just can't hate him.

he always make me love him more
when i want to hate his guts so bad.

he's just beyond any guy ever existed in this planet.

because he is my Gerry.
because he is my Noah.
because he is my Landon.
because he is my Jack Dawson.

because he is my David Beckham.

because he is my Adonis.

because he is my Diamond.

because he's just perfect being imperfect.
because he loves me more than anything/anyone else.

and because he's mine, forever and always.

p/s; he sang this song for me today. awwh! :")

Aku cuba lagi ya, Malique? ;(

2010-06-12T23:34:00.000+08:00

Aku tetap aku. Tak ada pulak kau, kan?

2010-06-12T23:19:00.002+08:00

tolong lah, aku dah letih dengar ayat 'jangan la banyak mikir' tu. ingat aku nak sangat ke jadi macam ni? ingat aku nak sangat semua ni? ingat aku mintak? ingat aku teringin? hurm? kalau aku boleh stop pikir, mmg aku nak sangat ah, aku sendiri pun dah semak sangat ni. dengan tido asyik terjaganya, dah dapat tido pun mimpi ngeri. tak lalu makan. then muntah lagi. batuk darah lagi. migraine lagi. tekanan darah rendah. dengan masalah family lagi, masalah belajar lagi, masalah kawan lagi, masalah cinta lagi, masalah hidup. eh semak ah!!! aku sggup bagi nyawa ah kalau boleh hentikan semua ni. and tak payah nak berdakwah kat aku ah, aku dah kata, aku ni gila, jijik, hodoh, bodoh, sombong, membosankan, mengarut. aku ni tak sopan. aku ni tak sempurna. aku ni tak istimewa. ya, aku setan juga kalau itu memuaskan hati semua. aku gadis yang disampahsampahkan. dan aku masih lagi tengah sabar. tak payahlah nak buatbuat macam faham kalau dah sememangnya tak faham. ya, hidup kau hebat. kau anak soleh. kau bagus. kau terbaik. dengar lah cakap kau. kau tahu. wtf? kau tahu ke pun apa yang aku rasa ni? huh. papela weh. PEOPLE COME AND GO. aku tak mahu heran lah hati kau tu busuk ke wangi. hati aku busuk, dah, pergi lah mampos? semak ah! tak boleh ke sekali manusia semua jujur dengan aku? tak suka cakap tak suka. tak kisah jangan buat cam kisah. eh, aku tak heran la. aku dah biasa org sampahkan. aku dah biasa org benci. aku dah biasa org pulau. aku dah biasa org tinggal. aku dah biasa kena caci maki mulutmulut mulia kalian. kalian lah manusia paling mulia dalam dunia ni. aku ni bangsat, lahanat. kan? kisah lagi hal aku kenapa? nak seksa aku lagi kenapa? aku memang tak pernah buat benda betul, aku memang selalu salah. aku manusia hina. keji. panggil aku anjing pun tak apa. aku tak terasa sangat bila kalian jujur. aku lagi suka tahu sesuatu benda tu. so kalau benci aku, jelik dengan aku, BERITAHU! jangan layan aku macam ni! kalau ya pun nak sampahkan aku, jerit kat telinga aku, jerit 'AMELIA SAFURAA RUSLAN, KAU TU SAMPAH!'. maka bahagia lah aku bila tahu kau fikir aku sampah, dan disampahkan kau. dari dilambunglambung kau masuk ke sampah. dah la. aku tak larat la dengan semua ni. BILA HIDUP DAN MATI AKU TAK ADA KENA MENGENA DGN KAU, KAU JUGA TAK HIRAUKAN, maka berambuslah. tak ada maknanya kau nk beri syarahan dan dakwah kau tu. ni hidup aku, dosa aku. dan juga kepada kalian, tak payah lah nk buatbuat baik ngn aku. aku tak perlu korg buat baik ngn aku, cakap manis ngn aku pastu layan aku macam kucing kurap. terimakasih kawankawan, terimakasih cinta, terimakasih semua. MANA PERGI KEMEGAHAN KAU? kau takkan jatuhkan orang kalau kau rasa kau di atas. lainlah aku, aku tak pernah merasa di atas. aku tak pernah istimewa macam lu org. dah. aku mmg sempit, belagak, ego apa semua yg buruk tu semua aku. aku tak makan nasihat, tak payah buang masa.

Don't get too comfortable ;(

2010-06-12T20:08:00.000+08:00

I'm not saying this to shake you up
I'm just saying this to wake you up
It's all good when we making love
All I ask is don't take our love
For granted, it's granted
My love for you, is real
Baby if you don't love me
Somebody else will
So don't you ever get too comfortable

i wonder

2010-06-10T05:37:00.001+08:00

i mean like, seriously? why do people find it extremely hard to treat me nicely and appreciate my existence?

tangisan bunga

2010-06-09T13:40:00.000+08:00

macam mana sekali pun perangai aku, aku tetap seorang perempuan. tapi aku tak pernah terima bunga, kenapa eh? ;( mak aku cerita dulu dia selalu dapat bunga, bukan dari seorang je. kenapa aku tak pernah? haiz. aku lupa, aku tak cantik. mak aku kata, cari boyfriend yg pandai amik hati. bapak aku dulu pandai pujuk mak aku ngn bunga, gaduh ada bunga, birthday ada bunga, ulangtahun ada bunga. wah, indah gila jadi mak aku. nak buat cane, aku bukan dia. jealous tu memang lah, menipu lah kalau aku tak jealous. aku teringin jugak nak merasa. wuah, sedihnya ;(

Anas Tahir,

2010-06-06T16:14:00.000+08:00

brase semok, mari layan video2 bolok adik faizal.

aku suke kalu anas nanyi ngn akbar. ganu boh! ;D

Asy si poyo

2010-06-06T15:35:00.003+08:00

oi asy, jangan control sgt muka tu. menyampah, HAHAHA.

nice video lah kot? i miss you btw. buat banyakbanyak lagi~

nnt semua i jaja kat blog i, HAHAHA ;)

for Asy's other cover videos;

Secondhand Serenade - Fall For You ( cover by Asy )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAfP-TOcSxs

Secondhand Serenade - Your Call ( cover by Asy )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWEwr8A6RYM

Dakmie - Yang Terindah ( Cover by Asy )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fz3tpph7s8s

when?

2010-06-06T12:59:00.004+08:00

theres just so many weddings this holiday,
i wonder when will i have mine? :-/

this girl gives me goosebumps ;O

2010-06-05T11:41:00.001+08:00

how about a round of applause, standing ovation ;)

can we?

2010-06-05T09:44:00.000+08:00

can we pretend that aeroplanes in the night-skies are like shooting stars? i could really use a wish right now.

because i am

2010-06-04T11:00:00.011+08:00

my heart you're hurting, is made of clay

i wish you realize it grows colder by day
though it pains me, i hush, so you would stay
please dont ask me if i'm okay

*...because with you, i always am

kosong

2010-06-02T20:34:00.000+08:00

sakit kan bila orang yang kita kenal dari A-Z, tibatiba berubah?

sakit sebab setiap benda yg kita kenal tentang dia dulu, tak sama dah.

sakit kan bila org berjanji, tapi lepas itu tinggal habuk je?

sakit sebab kita seronok, teruja, mengharap. tapi yang dapat cuma hampa.

sakit kan bila orang yang sentiasa ada, tibatiba tak ada?

sakit sebab dulunya terasa penuh, kini apa pun tak ada. kosong.

yayangg tinggal owg ;'(

2010-06-02T20:20:00.002+08:00

Hate Kanye West? Play this.

2010-06-02T11:29:00.003+08:00

Kanye West Torture Chamber, click here

enjoy! ;)

sore eyes

2010-05-31T17:51:00.002+08:00

mata pedih. too much staying awake or too much crying?

Hypotension

2010-05-30T16:03:00.003+08:00

ohhh, that explains a lot of things.

Bosan online?

2010-05-30T14:27:00.003+08:00

Pasang speaker/ headphone/ earphone anda kuat2.
JOM LAYAN GAME SERAM NI.

A game where you go to a haunted house.
Click anything that can be clicked in the room.

It'll respond after lots of clicks,
and you'll move on to the next level when you're finish with that room.

Have fun ;)

http://www.sinthaistudio.com/thehouse2/

reduce rapings

2010-05-29T07:56:00.001+08:00

gilababi lah.

2010-05-28T12:00:00.001+08:00

Bby Cris to Malaysia in August

2010-05-28T09:00:00.003+08:00

awwwhhh, my bby's coming to see me ;]

Random

2010-05-27T12:00:00.002+08:00

* would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Hey gadis

2010-05-27T11:03:00.001+08:00

"untuk kalian yang tidak diadili,

ditinggal rasa dan menyendiri,

kamu lebih tinggi,

maka pergi"

- Fynn Jamal.

tapi kalau aku tak mampu untuk pergi, apa harus aku buat? :(

hurm

2010-05-27T10:47:00.001+08:00

Selama ini kau katakan,

"Hey gadis, kau begitu keras, kau begitu ganas.

Hey gadis, luahkan apa yang kau rasa

Hey gadis, kasikan apa yang mungkin kau akan kata"

Tapi aku ini gadis yang ingin menjadi seorang yang pemberani.

Berani mati.

Aku ingin menjadi gadis yang tak akan lenyap disebabkan arus zaman.

Aku ingin menjadi gegadis itu.

Aku ingin menjadi gadis yang kuat itu.

Malam ini kita menangis.
Bukan kerna ku mau menunjukkan aku lemah.
Tetapi kerana kau terlalu gagah.
Menghenyak aku, membunuh aku.

Malam ini kita akan menangis bersama.
Kau lihat aku disini dengan airmata.
Aku ini gadis yang dihina.

- Fynn Jamal.

Bassist, tolong dengar.

2010-05-27T09:20:00.008+08:00

tolong dengar buat terakhir kalinya, saya janji.

SEMOGA ESOK KAU BANGKIT, DAN SEDAR,
"HEY, HANYA DIA SEORANG YANG TULUS MAHUKAN AKU"

Fly away,

you're free to go.

padah kulat mahu jadi bunga

2010-05-27T08:45:00.000+08:00

tak tahu kenapa hormon aku menggila sejaksejak ini, lebih gila bila kedatangan sang bulan. sikit hal pun nak marah, oh tapi itu memang jenis aku. apa ya? oh, aku dah jadi bunga. kata mereka, aku dah berubah jadi bunga. kenapa eh? aku tak boleh berhenti menangis. kalau dulu, cukup payah nak menangis, kecuali hal itu besar dan mengharuskan aku luahkan peritnya, bencinya rasa hati ini. tapi kini, hal kecil pun boleh buat aku menangis. walhal dulu, kalau hal kecil aku maki hamun sahaja. apa kena dgn aku? bila datang hari tak ada selera, tengok apa pun aku loya. bila datang selera, nah kauuu, lima kali makan pun tak kenyang lagi. *aku baca bismillah dan doa makan dah, tak, aku tak makan dengan setan*. badan aku naik sikit, toksah cakap, tapi kejap2 macam turun, kejap2 macam naik. mata aku mempermainkan aku, mungkin? dah banyak benda yang aku selalu buat dulu, aku jarang buat kini. banyak juga benda yang aku tak buat dulu, aku buat kini. mungkinkah sebab aku semakin matang? tak juga. aku masih menangis dan merengek terbaring kat lantai dapur kalau mummy/daddy tak bagi apa yg aku nak sangat. aku masih menangis sampai tertidur kalau rindukan si dia. matang celah mana. aku tak faham dan aku sangat ingin memprotes kenyataan mereka yang mengatakan aku kini sudah jadi bunga. HEI~ meh bertumbuk ngan aku, lihat aku masih bunga atau tidak. aku tetap aku, dan aku takkan berubah. aku bukannya berubah jadi bunga, cuma mungkin, manja aku lebih terbuka dibandingkan dgn dulu. mungkin. aku masih lagi musykil walau apa pun kemungkinan yang aku dapat. aku masih lagi tak faham kenapa aku asyik nak menggila tak tentu hala. sabar, amelia. kau mahu dia pergi dari hidup kau? bodohnya aku. bergaduh setiap hari. mungkin benar kata dia, aku suka meleretkan hal hal yang tak penting. aku asyik tekankan yang aku sakit hati dan sebagainya. betul kata dia, gaduh akan bawa padah teruk, aku asyik minta putus kalau gaduh. aku tak maksudkannya, cuma mulut aku ni, entah kenapa. keluar apa saja. daddy asyik kata aku sekarang cakap tak fikir, keluar apa saja aku nak cakap. mungkin aku terikut ikut perangai 'pegimamposlah' tu. atau mungkin aku dah terlalu letih menghadapi semua yang aku lalui selama ini. benar, kalau aku luahkan, tak ada siapa pun yang mahu dengar. setiap kali aku mahu luah, ada saja yg menggila. pergaduhan aku dan dia, sebab aku mahu luah apa aku rasa. tapi mungkin juga sebab dia tak pernah nak luah apa dia rasa pada aku, dan duadua meletup pada masa yang sama. duadua baran, nak kata apa lagi. mungkin ada betul katanya. mungkin aku patut diam saja, mungkin dia cuba nak menyuruh aku menjadi seperti dia. benar kata faiqah, suck up dengan semuanya. mungkin suatu hari nanti dia akan nampak, mungkin suatu hari nanti aku juga akan nampak. aku meletup kalau nampak dia menjeling pada sang betina, dia diam sahaja melihat aku berpengang bergurau dengan sang jantan. kau harus faham, kita berbeza dari segi ini. tak boleh nak bandingkan kerana kau cuma ada sifat cemburu. tapi aku, aku obses pada kamu.

ya, aku teruk. aku tahu.

maaf sayang, aku masih belajar bercinta, aku masih belajar mempercayai seseorang. tahu kan, itu trauma aku? kita sama. samasama tak reti berteman, samasama tak reti hidup dengan orang, samasama tak reti. jadi, aku minta maaf kerana buta, pekak dan bodoh. aku minta maaf kerana aku gila. dan aku maafkan kau, sentiasa.

father and daughter

2010-05-27T04:58:00.003+08:00

i wonder if he's like this in the future. so cute :)

buat Mohamad Ajwad Qawiem Abdullah

2010-05-27T03:51:00.000+08:00

i'm stuck up in this cold cold world

2010-05-27T01:50:00.002+08:00

aku penat lah nak fikir ke nak apa ke. yeah, my heart's gone cold dah. aku dah dingin. aku dah cuba nak elak. tapi tak dapat jugak. nak buat macam mana lagi. bila kita cuba untuk mengelak, dan berjaya, namun sakit itu masih terasa, apa bezanya kalau tak elak? aku cuma mampu berkata yg aku tak mahu berada di tempat dingin ini. aku dah jauh sangat dari fantasi. aku perlukan dunia fantasi, dimana aku terasa happy. dah jauh sangat. aku tak boleh buat apa dah. seolah olah aku dah tak rasa apa apa. seolah aja, aku masih lagi menangis.

selamat kembali sakit sakit ku, rindukan aku ya? hurm.

good grief

2010-05-26T10:49:00.001+08:00

this IS funny, :D:D i like it.

oh come on, snap out of it

2010-05-26T10:34:00.002+08:00

can i get over 'getting married now is a wrong decision' already?

oh god, i cant take any more of this. sure, he is a foolish man. he's stupid most of the times, and we get into fights like at least one/ two times a day. he doesnt know what to decide, he doesnt know how to think straight, he doesnt know how to control his anger, he doesnt know shit. he doesnt understand what i've been trying to say to him most of the time. he doesnt understand me and he's not there when he's supposed to, usually. yes, he aint perfect. but who is. tell me, who is? he's a little darling when he's supposed to be. he knows how to handle me most of the time. he takes good care of me. he keeps me sane. he treats me well. he appreciate almost everything i do. he aint a volcano to others when i'm there. he learnt how to be patient around me, and still learning how to control his anger and super ego. he knows me like he can read my thoughts (except when we're arguing) and he loves me, more than anything else possible. he doesnt like to befriend girls, which is great 'cause i know he aint a ladies man and all. he does things for me and he makes me happy. even for a short while, he makes me happy. he makes me laugh. he knows what to do when i'm sulking. it doesnt make any sense because he's a kind of guy who doesnt know shit. and for someone like me, he seems like he knows so much and of course, it's weird to me too.

he's like a gift box. you always expect something good or extraordinary. when you actually open it, you might be happy if you get what you wanted. but you might also get disappointed, probably because you've expected something better. but you're missing the point, you're too busy getting disappointed that you've forgotten that despite that disappointment, you actually get a gift and that's something rather than nothing.

so yeah, to list them all down, it'll take days but i'm pretty sure that he got more points on pros than cons. like a favourite quote of mine saying, "if you want the rainbow, you must put up with the rain". sure, it's chilly and miserable with the rain, but you aint gonna get a rainbow without it. so what the heck. he proposed, and i said yes. end of story. why should i drag such wonderful thing to a horrid place? by the way, people always tell you that you wont get what you want because you'll get what you need. he isnt exactly what i've always wanted, so i'm sure he's what i need. and i do need him. most of the time, yeah. and whats most important is that i dont want anyone else, i dont think i want anyone else, i dont ever think i will want anyone else.

*** i always want him too. so what does this tell me then?

probably, 'oh goody, i've gotten the best gift EVER' :)

totally

2010-05-26T08:14:00.002+08:00

yeah, shit happens.

**but sometimes you just wish it happens to someone else.

I LOVE YOU, Marshall Mathers III

2010-05-26T05:18:00.002+08:00

what it's like being me?

2010-05-26T04:28:00.002+08:00

"let's see if you can fit your feet in my shoes just to see what it's like to be me, i'll be you. let's trade shoes just to see what it's like to feel your pain, you feel mine. go inside each other's minds just to see what we'd find. look at shit through each other's eyes" - Eminem.

a little something to laugh about,

2010-05-25T05:43:00.002+08:00

watch and enjoy :)

A Decade of Love & Broken Heart

2010-05-25T03:19:00.004+08:00

There was this one question from an anonymous asker in my formspring, "if you could change one thing in your past, what could it be" or something like that. I started thinking, what could the right answer be, and i started thinking about all my past lovers who broke my heart and thought about which would i choose to banish from their existence in my life. But then, i realized that i had many of them heart-breakers i one decade. So, i figured if i list them all, it'll be easier for me to see when did it start to go wrong or perhaps, starting from who should i fix to change everything after. dont get me wrong, i was NEVER a player. it's just a long list because i search for another to forget the one before. well, at least that's the only way i thought could actually work. but, i've learnt my lesson. every single person after a heart-breaker just lead to another heart-breaker. sigh. wait, here's THE LIST.

1999-2002 ; Khairul Hazmin.
2003 ; Nazwan.
2004 ; Ahmad Zulhilmi.
2004 ; Ahmad Afdhal.
2004 ; Topek.
2005 ; Hery.
2005 ; Amos.
2005 ; Panjang.
2005 ; Boy Baler.
2006 ; Boy Longkang.
2006 ; Cdq.
2006 ; Faiz Petak.
2006 ; Leo.
2006 ; Nwa.
2006 ; Mal.
2007 ; Amar Mustaqim.
2007 ; Pecho.
2007 ; Hasics.
2007 ; Che Tam.
2007 ; 'Hyatt'.
2007 ; Topex.
2007 ; Rezza.
2008 ; Feng.
2008 ; Anes.
2008 ; Faiz Midon.
2008 ; Shero.
2008 ; Vincent.
2008 ; Demok.
2008 ; Blanca.
2008 ; Mint.
2008 ; Wanchai.
2009 ; Haffiz.
2009 ; Vincent.
2009 ; Bassist.
2009 ; Azry.
2009 ; Shah Fadhli.
2009 ; Shawty.
2009 ; Syahril Aizat.
2009 ; Kama.
2009 ; Anes.
2009 ; Diamond.
2009 ; Shoki.
2010 ; Diamond.

*** it's been a while, i prefer not to remember them after the break up and i've forgotten when was who exactly so, i probably messed up a bit on the list. so if any of YOU, who remember, dont be mad if you got on the wrong number. sigh. it's no big deal anyway, i mean, WHO CARES. oh yeah, i do. a bit.

After listing them down, i realized something that i should've in the first place. If i changed anything on this list, i wouldnt end up with my diamond now and i wont have acquaintances as i have now. Plus, i've troubled myself by going down the heart-breaking memory lane. I should've never done this in the first place. Idiot.

patutlah sunyi sepi, kadangkadang

2010-05-24T05:23:00.002+08:00

dalam hidup aku, aku cuma ada mereka. kenapa tidak yg lain?
sebab yang lain sentiasa macam biskut, ada pada waktuwaktu tertentu shj.

1- Yayangg.

2- Faiqah.

3- Tiqah.

4- Luke.

5- Angah.

6- Farhan A.

7- Blood Brothers.

ya, itu sahaja. aku tak hebat macam kau.
kawankawan kau cool, kan?

***aku baru perasan, perempuan ada dua org sahaja. HAHA

for bassist,

2010-05-23T01:42:00.002+08:00

exactly

2010-05-22T22:46:00.000+08:00

sayang korang ♥

2010-05-22T00:45:00.004+08:00

sigh, cant deny it

2010-05-21T08:58:00.003+08:00

i love you, and it's always been you

because no one else would do that for me.
just you, my diamond.

Ya, aku tahu sgt 'LAME' tp ini utk Aziela :)

2010-05-20T18:58:00.002+08:00

Aku terpaksa buat ini sebab dah di TAG, hehe. **aku tahu mengarut, sudahlah.

1. Adakah anda rasa anda hot?
- Tentulah tidak.

2. Update wallpaper/ laptop yang anda guna sekarang?
- Gambar saya dan dia.

3. Cerita pasal gambar ni.
- Cinta.

4. Kali terakhir makan pizza?
- Tak ingat lah.

5. Lagu terakhir anda dengar?
- Beyonce, Broken-Hearted Girl.

6. Apa yang anda buat selain selesai tag ni?
- Nightclub City **FB.

7. Selain nama sendiri, anda dipanggil dengan nama apa?
- Putri, Yang.

8. Tag 5 orang, siapa yang nak kena tag?
- Faiqah, Rex, Dana, Fara, Petak.

9. Siapa orang nombor 1 dengan anda?
- Soulmate.

10. Katakan sesuatu pada orang nombor 5.
- Petak, kalau kau baca ini, aku tag kau. Tahniah :D

11. Nombor 3 ada hubungan dengan siapa?
- Senang je ni, Faidzrul.

12. Bagaimana pulak dengan nombor 2?
- Adik saya.

13. Kata-kata cinta pada orang nombor 4?
- I Love YOU, Bitch.

14. Berikan 5 fakta yang anda tahu tentang orang yang anda tag.
- Faiqah : Mrs.Turner, a tough girl yet a softy when it comes to love.
- Rex : Apex, obsessed dengan violence & gangsterism.
- Dana : My beloved lawyer-to-be, mulut hebat yeah!
- Fara : My sister from another mother, sayang kau lah bongok.
- Petak : Bf faiqah yg masih kecil. aku takde kawan lain dah, i had to pick him. sorry.

please listen

2010-05-19T19:22:00.001+08:00

:'(

2010-05-19T18:55:00.000+08:00

people always ask me, "what's wrong?"

and i got the answer right here for you people: EVERYTHING.

hurm

2010-05-19T18:08:00.000+08:00

nape dia salu wat aku cani? dia sakitkan aku, tapi mesti semuanya salah aku.

apa ni? :'( aku tak paham. aku tak larat lah macam ni. lepas satu2 mslh dlm hdup ni.

aku dah kata dah, mati lagi baik. :'(

:(

2010-05-19T17:19:00.000+08:00

happiness is a fantasy, better yet, a myth.

kebahagiaan adalah fantasi, lebih baik lagi, mitos.

幸福[xìng fú] 是[shì] 一[yī] 种[zhǒng] 幻想[huàn xiǎng] ,
更好[gèng hǎo] 的[de] 是[shì] ，一个[yī gè] 神话[shén huà] 。

tell me i can hold on, tell me i'm okay

2010-05-18T18:30:00.000+08:00

i ran to the forest, and there i sang

i ran to the beach, and there i screamed

lonely, lonely, how i hate this loneliness

i miss the noise of the crowd

i am sick and tired, go away darkness

it is so dark when i am alone

why dont you break the glass so that everyone can hear it?

lets argue till we fight

somewhere, there is an angel weaving the web of a striped spider

on the wall of the white temple

why dont you strike the bell and create a commotion

or, should i run to the forest then turn to the beach?

:'-(

my diamond, i love you always

2010-05-17T17:06:00.001+08:00

susah nak percaya kita kuat bila kita sendiri tahu kita sebenarnya tak kuat, benar?

i just dont think i can be away from you

i've had these nightmares of losing you

whether it is by death or by cheating, either way, i lost you

and i've realized that you've put up with my craziness for so long now

i keep making you sad, making you angry and then lose your own self

but then you came back, and told me you're sorry for going overboard

you're always doing that and it is not even your fault

i feel so guilty for acting like a bitch

you've heard all my stories, you've seen how i had to live my life

you're willing to do so much just to save me

just to give me the happiness i have long for

just to free me from everything that's holding me back

and i have done nothing but hurt your feelings all these while

i'm just afraid that you'd leave me just like what daddy said

even though you've told me so many times that you'll never ever leave

but i'm having these dreams, these nightmares, and i'm scared

i just cant see myself living in a world without you

you're the only one i got left, and i would love to be nothing more than to be your wife

to have and to hold from this day forward

for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer

in sickness or in health

to love and to cherish till death do us part

and hereto i pledge you my faithfulness

yes, i'll definitely marry you yangg

Gaban ;O

2010-05-17T00:45:00.003+08:00

masa aku pergi program belia peringkat kebangsaan tahun lepas,
aku ada kenal dengan sorang mamat ni, sempoi je. Gaban nama dia.

Selamat Pengantin Baru, Gaban. hehe :)

p/s : maaf lah aku tak dapat pergi, yeah?

10 surprising signs they're interested

2010-05-16T01:55:00.002+08:00

1. They don’t talk to you

They’re so scared of looking foolish in front of you that they don’t risk it. You need to take charge. Start a conversation. Expect some nervous babble, but be encouraging and interested. Their confidence will grow and they’ll soon start to make sense.

2. They tease you

Schoolkids tease their crushes in the school playground, and none of us ever really outgrows the habit. Attack is the best form of defence, in love as in war. If someone you fancy teases you, don’t give them a slap; give them your phone number.

3. They hide from you

As with the teasing and silent treatment, this one is a form of defence. If you can’t see them, you can’t see them fall on their face, blush until they burn, or humiliate themselves in random heartbreaking ways.

4. They don’t seem to remember you

So, you had a brief drunken encounter six years ago, and it has faded from their memory. That’s what they want you to think. They want you to think that they’re far too busy and popular to recall it. In fact, the memory is etched onto their brain and lived out in filthy fantasies every single night.

5. They suggest splitting the bill on your first date

If you’re a woman, you probably assume that he’d buy you dinner if he fancied you. If you’re a man, you assume that she’d let you pay if she fancied you. Wrong. When someone’s interested, they’re careful not to seem over-keen, or out to buy affection or sex, or – in the woman’s case – tight-fisted.

6. They push back their shoulders when they see you

It’s not an obvious signal, but it’s a very common one. We respond subconsciously to an attractive person by improving our posture: men puff out their chests slightly, and women arch their backs.

7. They flirt with your friend

Rather than be rejected by you, they’re seducing you by stealth. If they can impress your friend, your friend will spread the approving word to you. Then they can find out from your friend whether you’re interested.

8. Their friend flirts with you

They’ve sent their mate on a mission to involve you in a group night out, where they will make their move. Classic strategy.

9. They babble nonsense at you

The power of your attractiveness has short-circuited their brain. Chances are they’re dimly aware that their mouth is spouting nonsense, but it’s out of their control.

10. They ring you up to moan about a terrible date

You think you’re in the Friend Zone, but the truth is that they want any excuse to phone you. What’s more, by whingeing

forever and always :)

2010-05-15T04:44:00.000+08:00

you're the reason i do things, you're all these things i do, you know you're my reason for living, i'd be so lost without you. you're the greatest love, my heart has ever known, this love, my love, i give to you alone. longer than always, you'll be mine, from now to eternity, that's a long, long time. you mean the world to me, more than i can say, when i see your smiling face, you take my breath away. where ever you may go, what ever you may do, please always remember, my heart's right there for you. <3

3 simple tips to memorize for exams

2010-05-15T04:34:00.000+08:00

1. Eat a cooked egg with the yolk. Yolk is known to help increase brain and memorization productivity.

2. Sit with both feet flat on the ground. Although this may seem really simple, 90 percent of people sit with their legs crossed, or one foot slightly/fully off the ground the majority of the time. Sitting with both feet flat on the ground helps blood flow to the brain, and it is also less distracting.

3. When you are reading, use your finger to guide your eyes. The faster you move your finger, the faster your eyes move. Even though it may seem like you're skipping words fast, your brain puts together the missing words. Humans are logical. Not only does using a finger increase your reading speed by 300% +, but it also helps keep people focused. Most students tend to doze off in the middle of reading, but using a finger will help keep you focused.

seriously

2010-05-12T05:38:00.000+08:00

and, i still wonder.

would you still love me if i turn out to be the worst being?

would i still be me if it turns out that i'm not who i used to be?

my diamond :)

2010-05-12T05:01:00.000+08:00

for as long as i am here with you, and you are here with me.

no matter how awful my world would seem to fall apart,

i shall always have you to keep them in place right where they belong.

because you, complete me.

love you,

2010-05-12T02:29:00.002+08:00

GROW OLD ALONG WITH ME,
THE BEST IS YET TO BE :)

yayangg, rindu lah :(

kaching.

2010-05-12T02:14:00.000+08:00

seriously, why is it hard to get married again? i remember when it used to be so easy that parents would prefer their children go on and get married than wasting time dating here and there with this and that. now why does it have to be, oh you're still young and you gotta study and so on. i dont see the problem in studying when you are married. sure, it's gonna be tough. but there's always a way. it's part of living, the way of life when at one part you feel the need to survive in life. when you fell so hard on the floor. it's a way of life to learn how to get up. i just dont get it why people are so different nowadays. besides, living easy with an unlimited pipeline of money. i mean, seriously? you wanna live such life? sure, sure, everybody loves money. but dont you see what money has done to us in life? you get fake love, you get spoilt children, you get unfairness, you get greedy, you get selfish, you forget all the most important things in life. sure, you're gonna live a nice life. but how much nice can it be when you're having $ for eyes? think about it. you aint gonna be you. i like it simple. we learn from our mistakes, thats how we get to live a good life. thats how we learn to be human. we stay in the middle. life should be simple. the way people see things now, it's bringing humanity down. seriously.

cinta pertama?

2010-05-12T01:54:00.000+08:00

benar kata faiqah. cinta pertama takkan pernah mati. namun,

confused

2010-05-12T01:37:00.001+08:00

why is it hard to get married?

tell me how

2010-05-07T19:38:00.000+08:00

how can i ever know.
how can i ever trust.
how can i ever live with it.
how can i ever keep it.
how can i ever?

stop making me cry, yayangg

2010-05-05T22:47:00.000+08:00

I'M OKAY. TELL ME, I'M OKAY.

men are supposed to make women cry,

so that he can persuade them and show that he cares

seriously?

awak, agakagak awak ingat tak?

2010-05-05T22:33:00.003+08:00

awak, dah setahun lebih awak hilang. awak hidup lagi ke?

dulu, kini, dan selamanya

BBYPUTRI; story of my life.

Sorry

Sayang ;_(

My birthday wishlist ♥

I 'm such a Phobic

Jangan nak jiwang sgt la Amelia

Hawa diciptakan dari rusuk adam.

Bukan dari kepalanya utk dijadikan Pemimpinnya.

Bukan dari kakinya utk dijadikan alasnya;Melainkan dari sisinya utk dijadikan tmpat hidupnya.Dekat dgn lengannya utk dilindunginya

dan dekat di hatinya utk dicintainya.

My Diamond, neo gateun saram ddo eobseo. ♥

MooMoo dah takde ;'(

Faiqah Bt Mohd Azmir, ♥

Mohamad Ajwad Qawiem Abdullah, dengar ya?

Yayang hilang lagi

;(

Please don't come & go like that

Spain gave me chest pain

Rindukan yayang saya,

Nak yayang owg,

My yayang,

Encik Diamond, tolong kembali ke badan anda.

Neo Ttaemune

I don't care

Please get back in your body

;'( surat layang untuk my yayang,

Listen for once, can you?

yayang ;'(

My yayang,

Dedicated to Red Rebellion Army ♥

My Diamond; locked in my head.

"Boo!" --- "Yayang?" ;'(

Just pull the trigger, yang

I want my yayang ;'(

You poached my heart

i hate myself

;'(

Dari saya kpd dia menerusi Fynn

Oneirophobia

My Diamond,

I'm sorry for fussing and fighting

;)

Aku cuba lagi ya, Malique? ;(

Aku tetap aku. Tak ada pulak kau, kan?

Don't get too comfortable ;(

i wonder

tangisan bunga

Anas Tahir,

Asy si poyo

when?

this girl gives me goosebumps ;O

can we?

because i am

kosong

yayangg tinggal owg ;'(

Hate Kanye West? Play this.

sore eyes

Hypotension

Bosan online?

reduce rapings

gilababi lah.

Bby Cris to Malaysia in August

Random

Hey gadis

hurm

Bassist, tolong dengar.

padah kulat mahu jadi bunga

father and daughter

buat Mohamad Ajwad Qawiem Abdullah

i'm stuck up in this cold cold world

good grief

oh come on, snap out of it

totally

I LOVE YOU, Marshall Mathers III

what it's like being me?

a little something to laugh about,

A Decade of Love & Broken Heart

patutlah sunyi sepi, kadangkadang

for bassist,

exactly

Bukan dari kakinya utk dijadikan alasnya;
Melainkan dari sisinya utk dijadikan tmpat hidupnya.
Dekat dgn lengannya utk dilindunginya