i forgive you now, dont mess up again

i dont see what anyone can see in anyone else but you

kerana dia, aku begini :'-(

i hate you! i hate you! i hate you! i hate you! i hate you! i hate you! i hate you! 

but, i love you :(

hmm

Today's Daily Slam July 24 ~ August 23 The door to your heart has been closed for so long that the hinges have rusted and the knob has fallen off -- tear it down with a battering ram and let a little light in to that dusty old heart of yours. Don't you think it's time to stop isolating? Amelia Ruslan's

my jacob since edward's gone.

amyrul ; the best thing i never knew i needed.

let's be clear

Shauqi,

your apologize got no value for me now.

when you mean it, i'll believe it.

but if you text it, i'll delete it.

i guess it's just TOO LATE FOR YOU TO APOLOGIZE now.

i super hate you :(

uh

i hate you for making me love you! :(

CELAKA HARAM JADAH!

kenapamacamni, sudahsudahlah

awakawak, semalam saya mimpi awak. harihari saya menangis teringat awak. saya sayang awak. saya sedih bila baca message maaf awak tu. awak, saya mintak maaf. saya tak reti nak percaya awak dah. awak tu diajar belakon, saya tak pasti dah yang mana betul. orang kata kalau nak tengok seseorang tu tipu kita, tengok kat mata dia masa dia cakap sesuatu. tapi, mata awak tipu. awak bukan sayang saya, awak cakap awak sayang saya sebab awak kehilangan saya, kan? masa awak ada saya, awak tak pernah sayang saya pun. awak penipu. tapi saya sayang awak. saya benci awak. awak buat saya macam ni. awak cakap saya hukum awak. tapi sape yang terseksa ni? kalau boleh putar masa, saya tak teringin pun kenal dengan awak. saya menyesal kenal dengan muhammad rindu saya. saya menyesal kawan dengan penjahat dunia saya. saya menyesal jatuh cinta dengan muhammad artis saya. tapi saya tak pernah menyesal dapat rasa bahagia dengan kehadiran muhammad shauqi naaim saya.

i cant stand being with him knowing that he treat others way better than me, knowing that i'm his yet he doesnt need me for anything, knowing that i could've been appreciated more, and knowing that i could end this suffering. and i did. i ended it. only to know that i've just made it worse, my sickness gotten worse, i'm losing myself, i'm hanging around with toy boys here and there finding new happiness only to realize that i'm not even ready for any of that and i just ran away from one to another, trying to be happy, laughing louder but dont mean it, crying everyday missing the one and only person i want, the only one i love, the one who cant love me like i should be loved. i know i deserve better. i know i do. but i cant escape the fact that i want nobody but him and i can never love anything more than i love him. probably gonna be stuck with this curse till forever. i wanna come back to him. i really do but i cant. i cant trust him anymore. i've given him three chances and he trashed it happily. sigh. dont know what else to do.

merepek je

"They say past is past. We need to move on to see the future. But, how can we move on when our past is the only thing we ever wanted in the future" - Zack Zukhairi.

bila kawan cerita tentang lelaki, aku senyum.

dlm hati rasa nk nangis sb teringat waktu aku cerita tentang dia kt kawankawan dulu.

bila kawan cerita tentang cinta, aku senyum.

dlm hati rasa nak nangis sb teringat waktu aku mulamula rasa cinta dia dulu.

bila kawan cerita tentang date, aku senyum.

dlm hati rasa nak nangis sb teringat waktu aku selalu keluar date ngn dia dulu.

bila kawan cerita tentang cemburu, aku senyum.

dlm hati rasa nak nangis sb teringat waktu aku selalu gaduh sebab cemburu.

bila kawan cerita tentang sakit hati, aku senyum.

dlm hati rasa nak nangis sb teringat waktu aku dilayan nak tanak oleh dia dulu.

bila kawan cerita tentang kehilangan, aku senyum.

dlm hati rasa nak nangis sb teringat aku kehilangan dia sebulan sebelum aku tinggal dia.

bila kawan cerita tentang tak dihargai, aku senyum.

dlm hati rasa nak nangis sb teringat aku tak pernah dihargai dia dulu.

bila kawan cerita tentang lelaki baru, aku senyum.

dlm hati rasa nak nangis sb teringat aku mulamula kenal dia dulu.

bila kawan cerita tentang sweetnya lelaki tu, aku senyum.

dlm hati rasa nak nangis sb teringat aku cair dengan hampir semua tingkah laku dia.

bila kawan cerita dia gaduh ngn lelaki tu, aku senyum.

dlm hati rasa nak nangis sb teringat aku selalu gaduh ngn dia atas benda sama dulu.

bila kawan cerita dia putus ngn lelaki tu, aku senyum.

dlm hati rasa nak nangis sb teringat aku pernah lalui benda sama dgn dia dulu.

bila kawan cerita tentang lelaki yg kemudiannya, aku senyum.

dlm hati rasa nak nangis sb teringat aku masih lagi teringatkan dia walhal kawan aku dah jumpa 3 lelaki.

dan selepas semuanya berlalu dan kwn aku bahagia, aku menangis, setiap hari.

dlm hati aku senyum sb teringat aku benci dia sebab aku terlalu sayangkan dia.

tapi, sampai suatu masa, aku tak mampu lagi tersenyum.

sebab aku tahu, dalam hati atau luar, aku tetap akan menangis,

biar aku senyum berapa lama, gelak berapa kuat pun.

kertas yg koyak walau digam, distaple atau dilekatkan cellophantape, kertas tu tetap kertas koyak

Babyface Live in Malaysia March 5th, 2010 :)

A 10-time Grammy award-winning R&B star, Kenny “BABYFACE” Edmonds, will enchant Malaysia for the very first time, making Kuala Lumpur the first stop for his South East Asian tour. The “BABYFACE LIVE IN KUALA LUMPUR” concert will be held at the Plenary Hall, Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre on Friday, 5th March 2010, at 8.30 pm.As a singer, producer, and songwriter, Babyface was an inescapable presence in virtually every major facet of pop music during the '90s. His own recordings helped rejuvenate the R&B tradition of the smooth, sensitive, urban crooner and made him a staple of urban contemporary radio.

In 1996, his guest-laden album, “The Day”, spawned another Top Ten Pop/R&B hit with his single “Every Time I Close My Eyes”, which solidified the singer’s crossover credentials by winning the Grammy for Record of the Year as producer of Eric Clapton's “Change the

World”.He has penned songs for many artistes including the world’s biggest-selling and most universally popular recording artists like Whitney Houston, Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, Lionel Richie, Madonna, Michael Jackson, Aretha Franklin, En Vogue, Mary J. Blige, Toni Braxton, Boyz II Men, TLC, OutKast and Usher with album sales in excess of over 500 million units worldwide.

“BABYFACE LIVE IN KUALA LUMPUR” is organized by Pineapple Concerts (M) Sdn Bhd. The Managing Director, Razman Razali, stated that despite the full-blown drama in 2009 that involved the temporary exclusion of the company from the local entertainment scene, Pineapple Concerts is ready to put that behind and kick-off 2010 with a new fresh start. Grateful that the company is now back on track, he stated that Pineapple Concerts’ objectives remain, which is to focus in bringing high quality international acts to Malaysia for the entertainment of local music fans, and also to realize the company’s vision of making Malaysia a premiere destination for live entertainment.

Babyface’s first ever visit to Malaysia is a long overdue event for Malaysians as he has many fans here. Playing with a live band and going through his repertoire of classic evergreen songs, this is a unique opportunity to witness one of R&B's true legend live in action.Tickets to the “BABYFACE LIVE IN KUALA LUMPUR” concert are available from 28 January 2010 through AXCESS Hotline: 03-77115000, online at www.axcess.com.my and all authorized AXCESS outlets”.

Ticket Prices: RM453, RM353, RM253 & RM153.

sendiri

aku rasa macam aku tak ada sesiapa dah kat dunia ni (tolak keluarga).

mana pergi semuanya? salah aku kah semuanya tiada disisiku lagi kini?

tak mengapa, aku sedang belajar menghadapinya seorang diri.

aku yakin, kawankawan semuanya ada hal yang lebih penting dr aku yg remeh ni.

tak mengapa. :|

i hate me, i love you

i hurts seeing you updating your photo on myspace cs it seems to me that our break up didnt give you any effect on any kind of way. i hurts more reading your 'everyday' text that you keep on apologizing and saying you miss me, you love me and you want me back, kind to think of it after seeing you look so much on the opposite side of what you've said to me. it hurts the most knowing myself that i love you too much, and i miss you, i can totally feel your absence and i cant be with you because i can no longer trust you. it hurts when i think about you, i mean seriously, when exactly did you really, sincerely loved me for who i am. seriously. when? you're such a singer as you can speak words that so many could be drowned in. you're such an actor as you can totally adapt to any kind of situation even when you dont feel like acting the way you should/ you are. you're such a liar as to me everything that has ever came out of your mouth are bullshits. therefore, i think that you, dont even love me, no matter what you say and i'm just a stupid puppet yet again. even if it seems to many of you out there that i am strong for leaving him in time (as in before he dump me for someone else with is gonna be a lot worse to deal with), it aint much easier, really. i really cant want anyone else. my heart beats for his name, and his name only. i just wish i could cut out this heart and put it in a chest away from myself. i seriously cant stand the pain. i love him and he doesnt care a teeny bit. he doesnt love me no matter what he said.

i'm addicted to you, heartbreaker

"you're like my own brand of heroin" - Edward Cullen.

yeah, you are my own brand of heroin. it makes me feel like i'm in heaven but the fact is that it just kills me to be with you. the worse part of everything is that i can neither live with nor without you and i'm already addicted.

fuck you for making me miserable

ever loved something then decided to throw away that thing for hurting you and found out you cant stand living without it but you can never live with it too, which choosing either would hurt you anyway and the worse part of it, even when you know theres so many other things that could make you happier, and better, so many other things that wont hurt you the way this thing could, you can never want anything other than the thing that had been hurting you. you're stuck and theres nothing you could do to make it better since no matter what path you choose for this thing, you're gonna end up devastated. how bizarre this curse love had cast me into. dont you think? :-|

you've hurt me.

i hate you, i feel like killing you.

i wish i had never known you, i wish i had never loved you.

you've torn me apart, you've destroyed my newly-healed heart.

i deserve someone better. i can do much better.

yet, i still cant escape the fact that you're the only one i want.

just listen

dedicated to Muhammad Shauqi Naaim.

you've won the game.

would it be any better if i told you i love you?

would it be any better if i hold you, never lose you?

would it be any better if i scold you, leave you?

would it be any better if i hurt you, kill you?

would it be any better if i let you, be you?

would it be any better if i miss you, feel you?

would it be any better if i kiss you, save you?

would it be any better if i see you, and only you?

would it be any better if i punch you, screw you?

would it be any better if i forgive you, accept you?

would it be any better if i didnt know you, like you?

would it be any better if i break you, tear you?

would it be any better if i told you i hate you?

nothing i do would make things better. you win, Shauqi.

congratulations. how about a round of applause?

missing my muhammad rindu,

it doesnt matter how much i love him

it doesnt matter how much it hurts me leaving him

because i can never trust him ever again

and he wouldnt care to think about anything other than himself

ash

muhammad rindu, 

you've burned my heart to ashes.

but amazingly, my heart rose from the ashes.

and now, my heart is healthy with heat
- no longer dying in the icebox.

my heart relived, and beating again - thanks to ash